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Loose Women star reveals trauma of miscarriage after abortion

6 February 2018

Nadia Sawalha has spoken out powerfully about her experiences with miscarriage and abortion.

The podcast is worth a watch. 

English actress and television presenter Nadia Sawalha has revealed how she felt that her multiple miscarriages were a "punishment" for an earlier abortion.

The Loose Women star mentioned the abortion during a moving podcast titled 'Dealing With the Heartbreak of Miscarriage', produced with her husband, TV producer Mark Adderley.

Scroll down to watch the podcast! 

"I felt it was a punishment"

While discussing the trauma of her first miscarriage, she said: "Of course, I had had a termination years before. And I think, you know, all that guilt came up. And I was thinking, 'Is this a punishment?' "And with each subsequent miscarriage, I felt like that. I felt it was a punishment."

Clare Bremner, a counsellor with the Abortion Recovery Care and Helpline, says that feeling like this is not uncommon.

You are not alone

"Nadia Sawalha is far from alone. Post-abortive women often think they will be or are being punished and can, in effect, punish themselves in many ways. The burden of grief and regret is so heavy and often the woman carries it in secret or have no-one who really understands the depth of her loss. The accompanying self-loathing may deter women from seeking help, believing they don't deserve any. We hope that women carrying that burden will realise they are not alone when they hear Nadia and other women talking about their experiences, and that they will find whatever it would take for them to pick up the phone and call our Helpline, to speak in confidence and without fear of being judged."

It doesn't matter how long you've known

The podcast as a whole is an eloquent and emotional insight into the heartbreak of miscarriage. Nadia explains that the pain doesn't depend on how far along the pregnancy is. 'It doesn't really matter if you've known for a day or eight weeks, it doesn't really make any difference. You can see their face, you can see their smile. You start worrying about where they'll go to school and what holidays will be like. That all happens from day one...

"And that's why I am such an advocate of telling everyone from the second you're pregnant. If we'd kept it a secret for three months and then told everyone we wouldn't have got that support in that grief."

Men matter too

It was also an important reminder of how pregnancy loss affects fathers. As well as talking about his sense of helplessness as he tried to support his wife through the miscarriages, Mark recalled how seeing the body of one of their babies was "burned onto his retinas" forever. 

If you or anyone you know if suffering after an abortion, call the Abortion Recovery Care and Helpline on 0845 603 8501.

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